The post NFL Week 18: Gatorade, The Joker, Rocky, And Anything Else That Sticks To The Wall appeared first on SportsHandle.
Remember that old Gatorade commercial, where triathlete Chris Legh is closing in on the finish line, and then his body goes both haywire and kablooey at the same time?
Allow me to refresh your memory.
Well, replace “Chris Legh” with “Jeff Edelstein,” and “triathlete” with “NFL bettor and DFS player,” and “finish line” with “end of the NFL regular season,” and that’s me. (The Gatorade part stays the same. Stand by.)
I have had my worst NFL season of sports betting in more than 10 years. More money has been lost than ever before. To top it off — and this is the Gatorade part — I’ve been dealing with the flu since Sunday night. (I’ve drunk enough Gatorade to prevent the haywire/kablooey stuff.) And yes, this is about a month after I had COVID.
Should’ve parlayed them, alas.
As a result, to say I’m “limping to the finish” is a gross understatement. I am crawling to the finish. I am ready to do an autopsy on my failings. I am ready to rip the whole thing up and start anew.
Of course, I only have six days to do that, as the playoffs start next week, and let’s not forget about the UFL, which kicks off March 30, but there’s time for that.
In the meantime, I would love nothing more than to finish strong and leave the regular season on a high note. I want this last column of the regular season to be the equivalent of what’s bound to be a barnburner between the Bills and Dolphins Sunday night.
Instead, I fear this is going to end up being more Jets-Patriots.
Pass the Gatorade.
On to Week 18!
The +1000 or more parlay of the week
Now we’re 0-17. This is sinful.
Oh please, America’s sportsbooks, take pity on this flu-ridden beast of a man!
Waaaaah.
All right. Enough is enough. Much like Rocky in his rematch against Clubber Lang, I’ve decided not to get killed anymore. I will now get mad.
All right, we all know Week 18 is a minefield. Teams resting, teams giving up, teams going hard. It’s a zoo out there. Tread lightly, right?
No. Once more, into the breach. (For more Shakespeare, make sure to listen to this week’s Gamble On podcast.)
Over at FanDuel, give me a quartet of moneylines: Texans over the Colts at -116, Jags over the Titans at -180, Bills over the Dolphins at -152, and the Giants over the Eagles at +198 for a +1331 parlay.
Rationale: Betting on talent with the Texans and Jags, betting on Josh Allen in the Bills-Dolphins, and betting on the Cowboys taking care of business early against the Commanders, which means the Eagles will rest their starters and the Giants — playing some good football of late — end the year on a high note.
The on-paper, no doubt, three-team teaser that’s bound to lose
Down to 7-9 with these at BetMGM, with the Eagles ruining things last week. This week, give me the Bears +9 on the road in Green Bay, the Giants +10.5 at home against the Eagles, and the Jets +7.5 in New England. Bears defense is great, the Giants were explained above, and can the Patriots score a touchdown, never mind cover that spread?
Favorite that makes me nervous
Can I say the Eagles again? Good. The Eagles should not be 5.5-point favorites against the Giants on the sports betting apps.
Player props I like
Went 1-2 last week, down to 20-35. This week is a mess. I’m choosing one longshot.
Craig Reynolds, anytime touchdown, +1200 at bet365: Simply put, I don’t believe Lions coach Dan Campbell when he says he’s playing his starters. Maybe they start the game, but I don’t see them finishing. Reynolds could easily end up with 15 carries in the second half. Not advocating a big bet here, and right now it’s only available at bet365, and it’s a pure (Gatorade-filled) gut call, but yeah. That’s it.
OK, fine, here’s one more …
D.J. Moore over 66.5 receiving yards at Caesars. I’ll let Moore’s Pro Bowl snub tweet explain my thinking here.
— DJ Moore (@idjmoore) January 4, 2024
Did I Win The DraftKings Mill-
NO!
My mortal lock five-star only for my best customers can’t lose guaranteed best bet of the week
Up to 8-9, somehow, as the Chiefs covered against the Bengals. Can I finish 9-9? Well, can the Giants cover 5.5 points?
Remember, folks: The playoffs are a brand new season. I should be off the Gatorade by next week.
The post NFL Week 18: Gatorade, The Joker, Rocky, And Anything Else That Sticks To The Wall appeared first on SportsHandle.
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